The list

A friend of mine gave me the book, "Birthing From Within" yesterday, and she recommended that I try to start reading it before the baby comes. Even though I'm already passed my due date, there's still time til the actual labor process begins (and even then, there may be some time for reading!).

One of the things I read early on in the book discussed fears and worries that all mothers about to go through labor experience. It states that most women worry about pain, the possibility of something being wrong with their baby or the baby dying, and the possibility of dying themselves. Every woman, however, is unique, and has a variety of other worries and concerns because of who they are, what they've experienced in the past, and how things have gone up until this point.

The author recommended listing all of your worries, so as to acknowledge them and not suppress them, and to address some of them in advance, if possible. She affirms that worrying is a normal part of being pregnant. An exercise in listing your fears can be a therapeutic journey to be able to get those worries off your chest... I like to think that I will then be able to hand them over to God, trusting that He will calm my fears and give me the strength to face what lies ahead.

This morning, as I was in the shower, I started to make my list. I've decided that writing it down would be helpful for me. I realize that my list is probably different and more extensive than the average woman about to bear a child. One thing is true - I am a pregnant woman, and I share very similar emotions to those of all pregnant women, just by virtue of the fact that I am about to become a mother. In addition, however, I know that both my career and parts of my personality add to my list and make it probably longer than most.

Here goes my list:
pain, strength and stamina (lack of) to deal with labor and pushing, meconium, NICU, continuous monitoring, abnormal electronic fetal monitoring, induction, cervidil, pitocin, epidural, vacuum, forceps, c-section, tearing, stitches, shoulder dystocia, ABO incompatibility, breastfeeding problems, postpartum hemorrhage, blood sugar protocol,...eek!

So, there you have it - my list exposed and now I give it over to God, who has held me and our baby in His hands all this time throughout the pregnancy,and I'm sure will continue to do so, through the labor and delivery, and for many years to come. Even if and when I feel like I may not be in control, He always is in control, has a plan and knows what's going on. I simply need to continue to trust...

Another friend recently sent me an e-mail telling me that she was praying for me, and specifically praying the words of 1 Timothy 2:15 "But women will be kept safe through childbirth, if they continue in their faith, love and holiness with self control."

As I wait for the moment to come when the pains will start, labor and delivery will occur, and we'll welcome our new baby into the world, I, too, pray that I will continue in faith, love, holiness, self-control AND patience. I desire so much to be at peace with the natural course of how things progress, but at the same time, I recognize the feelings of frustration and impatience that I, like so many other women, am experiencing now that my due date has passed, and things still seem about the same.

All in perfect timing... thanks for joining us in prayer for continued patience and peace, and thanks for walking the journey with us.

The final pregnancy shots

We had a lovely Mother's Day, visiting with both of our families and spending the late afternoon and early evening "hiking" at Landis Woods. We asked my dad to do a photo shoot of sorts while we walked through a few of the trails. It was a gorgeous afternoon, and we got some good shots... fortunately Dad's rate for the sitting fee didn't put too much of a dent in our wallets! Now, we're just hoping that the next time we have a photo shoot it involves a little JM baby!

Humbly grateful

Today we were blessed with the presence of two great friends - Marvin & Dori - who came to our house, in the midst of our dust, dirt, construction zones and some chaos, to help us clean and tackle some more projects before the baby arrives.

It's hard for me to allow others to see our messes at times, and even more difficult for me to allow others to clean up those messes (unless it's my mom...for some reason that's very different). But, our dear friends didn't bat an eye at our dirt and disorganization, and instead they got down and dirty with us to help sort through some things and get one step closer to some assemblance of order. And then in the end, they thanked us for the opportunity to share in the nitty gritties of life with us! Incredible!

It truly is a humbling experience and a joy to share things such as these with friends. So again, Marvin and Dori, thank you, asante sana, gracias! We are full of gratitude!

Here's some photo evidence of what occurred at our house today... Marvin & Tim were totally celebrating the successful assembly of our changing table/dresser combo... and confusing themselves for Charlie's Angels!

It's a ...!

Only 7 days to go til the due date, folks! Of course, we all know that this babe will come when it's good and ready, but officially can't really be in there for more than three weeks from now - all of which is scary and exciting at the same time. I've had a few contractions here and there, and I'm doing all the stuff that I recommend to my own patients to keep them from going way beyond their due date, but still no baby.
I certainly can't complain at this point, however. I had some significant swelling last week, after walking over 7 miles in one weekend, that forced me to wear flip-flops to work (which patients thought was great, but I'm not so sure about the OSHA folks' opinions about it). That's gotten much better now (back to regular shoes), and my biggest woe is that it's super difficult to roll over in bed. But otherwise, my energy and my spirits are still good, I am still working full time and surviving, I don't have killer back pain (like most preggers at this point), and I managed to wear 3 inch heels to a gala on Saturday night and dance the "Electric Slide" without any difficulty. Still holding on to this baby, though!
Last night we met with some friends, who shared with us that for a long time she (the pregnant-at-the-time mommy) had been trying to plan out the day their first baby would come - like when it would be convenient for her - but then she started to feel convicted about that. She finally realized that she needed to tell the baby that he could come anytime when he felt ready to enter the world. She "released" him to come on his terms and not on hers... and he came that night! God and the baby both knew what the right timing was! Those friends prayed with us last night, which was an encouragement and also brought me a great deal of peace about what's to come. But just in case Baby Johnsen Martin is listening right now, "you, too, are released to come when you're ready!" We know you won't mind coming home to a house that's in the midst of many, many remodelling projects, and you surely won't remember it much either.
Our friends also prayed that my labor would be quick, healthy, without complications and that I (we) would have courage, energy and stamina. May God hear their (our) prayers!
I also think I might have found out the gender of our baby today! The mother of my doctor's nurse has never wrongly guessed what gender baby was being carried inside a beautiful pregnant belly - NEVER! This same woman works at my clinic in the evenings. I hardly ever see her, because I'm not usually at the clinic at night. The nurse had taken a couple of pictures of my belly when I was at my prenatal appointment on Friday in order to show her mom. She was going to let me know the verdict today via e-mail, but I never got the e-mail. I happened to be at the clinic later than usual today, so I ran into the said expert guesser and asked her if she had seen pictures of my belly over the weekend. She said that she hadn't seen her daughter this past weekend, so didn't see the photos. So, I said, "well, what do you think?" And she said, with a voice of authority and hardly a pause, "it's a ...!" I asked if she was certain, and she nodded yes. I turned to the side, to give her a different view, and her answer remained very clearly the same. This all happened in front of one of the receptionists, who very much disagreed with her assessment, but nonetheless, the guessing lady stuck to her guns and would not be moved or shaken! When I came home to tell Tim, he reminded me that it's still a guess, and she has a 50/50 chance, but so far her track record is pretty darn good. So we'll see...! I can't really tell you all, because that would ruin the surprise. So, you'll just have to wait... like the rest of us!

Any of you have your own guesses?

Yeah, baby!

I took the morning off from work today - one, because I needed a break, and two, because my friend, Jennifer, came from NYC to spend the morning with me and do my belly cast! The belly cast was the first gift we received - from cousins Duane and Audrey - and I've held out til now to be able to cast away my belly at near to maximum size.

This was so much fun! The little bean inside of me was wondering, I'm sure, why there was so much restriction to his or her movements... and it was wild to feel the baby move while I was bound by plaster!

It was Jennifer's idea to add a "necklace" to the cast, so we used a pregnant momma bead that my socia, Rachel, had given me awhile back. Jennifer also has ideas to cast in Timmy's hand later...! Eventually, we'll paint this beautiful creation and use it in some way, shape or form to decorate the forthcoming nursery.


38 weeks, 1 day, and counting... :)

The first load!

I just got done hanging the first load of baby laundry outside - where it's about 80 degrees and gorgeous! It certainly was odd, yet exciting, to drape such tiny articles of clothing over the drying rack. I can't believe that soon we'll have a baby that will fit into such things! I was feeling like I should do something motherly to start getting ready, so this was a first step...

Many thanks to my cousin-in-law, Crystal, who totally hooked us up with newborn and 0-3 months clothes, because everything that we've received so far has been larger stuff, except for one outfit and one pack of t-shirts. Everything we've received is totally adorable, but just plain big(ish). My anxieties about having a naked baby have been completely calmed down by Crystal's generosity. Although, I'm sure naked babies are super cute!

Next task - starting to pre-wash the cloth diapers... the instructions say that to get them to maximum absorbency prior to using them, they should be washed 5-7 times. Yowsers! I might need to quit my job! :)

It's been a good couple of days - yesterday I had a prenatal massage, which was heavenly. I'm not sure why I haven't done that much, much sooner! And today we walked the Race Against Racism, a 5K walk, plus the 1 mile walk each way there and back. We're about to head out to a wedding in a few minutes. I'm hoping that I won't steal the bride's thunder by having my water break or something in the middle of the ceremony!

The adventures continue... :)

A (powerful) word about diapers...

In honor of Earth Day, which is coming next week (April 22nd)... and in honor of our baby, who will be coming who knows when, but who will be garbed in cloth and/or hybrid diapers, check out this video! It's a bit shocking and a good reminder for all of us about how much of an impact our everyday actions have on our Earth!

This video comes from g-diapers, which are "hybrid" diapers - they have cloth covers on the outside, but biodegradable, flushable and compostable liners. The liner can go straight into the compost as long as it's not poopy. Those have to be flushed :). Our plan for our primary diapers at this point will be bumGenius all-in-ones, but we'll have the g-diapers on hand for going out and about, traveling, etc.
Also, in case any of you are interested in buying baby stuff or kid stuff, if you go to www.diapers.com and use my referral code: KIRS1934, you'll get $10 off your first order of diaper related stuff plus free shipping on orders greater than $49... and I will get credit in my account for referring you! They have a pretty large selection and good prices, plus super fast (and free) shipping. I ordered some stuff yesterday, and it's slated to arrive today!
Happy Friday and happy diapering!

Guess where we slept last night...!?!

Believe it or not, last night we slept in our master bedroom for the first time EVER... since we've owned this house - 20 months and 27 days!!! As you can see we still have some finishing touches to add, like curtains, blinds, light fixtures, pictures, etc. But the lack of curtains allowed us to have our very own sunrise service in bed on this Easter morning! Happy Easter, everyone! We're celebrating on many, many levels!

Graduation Day... of sorts!

Today marks a special day! I'm 35 weeks pregnant today, which for many is just a bit closer to the due date, being more uncomfortable, tossing and turning more in bed, feeling more tired, getting more excited... and anxious, etc. But for me, it's also seems like a day worthy of celebration! I'm sure this has a lot to do with my doctor-who-delivers-babies (mild) neuroses, but I'm jumping for joy because 35 weeks is the cut-off age for babies to avoid a stay in the NICU based on age alone. For this, I'm incredibly thankful! I certainly don't have any history or conditions that would have put me at increased risk for having a preemie, but one never knows, until you pass the date successfully. Of course, babies end up in the NICU for a plethora of reasons, and we hope and pray that our precious life growing inside of my belly will successfully avoid a NICU stay altogether. We trust our Father to continue to keep our baby healthy and safe.

Yesterday we took a hike with some friends at Tucquan Glenn - one of my favorite spots to hike in Southern Lancaster County. It was a gorgeous Spring afternoon, and it felt great to get out and get movin'! I certainly could tell that I had done more physical activity than usual, however, when I promptly zonked out on the couch shortly after dinner last night... and then proceeded to sleep all night long. Tim tells me I was more restless than usual last night, and that I was moaning and groaning lots, but I awakened feeling well rested and ready to start my Monday morning at the clinic after being away from the office for me than two weeks.

We're making big progress around here - we plan to be in our master bedroom by next weekend. We still have quite a bit to do (volunteers to help are welcome :) ), but we're getting sooo close! Many thanks to Tim's parents and to several friends who have already come to help us out a ton. All of our helpers have made the light at the end of the tunnel seem significantly closer. Next week, our general contractor (and my dear brother-in-law) will start framing out what is to become the nursery and our office in order to blow in insulation. That being said, we have to be out of our guest room (which is to become the office) and sleeping in the master bedroom by Easter. It's super exciting and super overwhelming all at the same time. We're also getting closer and closer to having a functional new powder room on the first floor. Yipee! Pictures to come soon!

Speaking of Easter - this year, the thought of new creation and new life takes on a hugely different meaning for me. I've never experienced this motherhood thing before, and I continue to be in awe of the fact that God has chosen me to carry inside my womb a growing human being that will breathe life in just a few weeks. He's gifted us with the honor of becoming parents. We realize that we may not do this perfectly, but we desire to glorify Him with our own lives, and also in our parenting. We pray that our child will grow to know and truly love his or her heavenly Father, who gave all of us His son, who amazingly died for all of us, so that we can enjoy life eternal and the riches of His many blessings that we experience every day. Wow! What a sacrifice! As I'm about to have my own son or daughter, I ponder what that must be like - sacrificing your child - and it seems incredible to me! I can hardly comprehend it...

I received an e-mail with the following slide show in it (A New Creation from Mennonite Central Committee) - I found it a powerful and wonderful reminder of how God has freely given so much, including His one and only son. May it be a blessing to you, as it was to me!

Thai Curry Yumminess!

Tomorrow we have a fellowship meal after church, and I've decided to repeat one of my favored and favorite recipes... Thai Curry. I got this recipe from my dear friend, Stephanie. I've modified it a bit. It sure is absolutely delicious (in our opinion), and the last time I took it to church, several people asked me for the recipe. I told them I'd post it on our blog, but that was 3 or 4 months ago... So, I'm trying to be a bit proactive by posting the recipe tonight, in case someone asks me tomorrow. The recipe below is for a single pot, but I almost always double it, because we're either serving it up to lots of people or just because we love it so much and are big fans of leftovers.

First, I mix the following together:

• 1 can coconut milk - use the real stuff - the "lite" version just doesn't cut it.


• 2 Tbsp of red curry paste - I use a brand called Maesri, which is available any Asian market and serveral grocery stores, if they have an international section - you can add less if you like things less spicy or a bit more if you really like a kick.


• 2 Tbsp of fish sauce


• 2 Tbsp of lime juice


• 3 Tbsp of brown sugar

Then, I throw in all sorts of veggies chopped up into bite-sized chunks... tonight I added the following:

• Tofu


• Carrots


• Green beans


• Red and orange bell peppers


• Zucchini and yellow squash


• Broccoli


• Bamboo shoots


• Baby corn

It's best to start with the vegetables that take longest to cook, so they all end up done at approximately the same time.

Finally, I sprinkle a little bit of salt over top and either a bunch of fresh basil leaves or some frozen basil, depending on what I have. I never use dried basil.

And of course I taste test it a few times, and then add a pinch of this or a dash of that, a little more curry paste, lime juice, brown sugar, etc... or leave it just as it is, if it seems great already.

We serve it up with Jasmine rice and love, love, love it!

Give it a try! You won't be disappointed ;).