Wednesday, May 13, 2009
A friend of mine gave me the book, "Birthing From Within" yesterday, and she recommended that I try to start reading it before the baby comes. Even though I'm already passed my due date, there's still time til the actual labor process begins (and even then, there may be some time for reading!).
One of the things I read early on in the book discussed fears and worries that all mothers about to go through labor experience. It states that most women worry about pain, the possibility of something being wrong with their baby or the baby dying, and the possibility of dying themselves. Every woman, however, is unique, and has a variety of other worries and concerns because of who they are, what they've experienced in the past, and how things have gone up until this point.
The author recommended listing all of your worries, so as to acknowledge them and not suppress them, and to address some of them in advance, if possible. She affirms that worrying is a normal part of being pregnant. An exercise in listing your fears can be a therapeutic journey to be able to get those worries off your chest... I like to think that I will then be able to hand them over to God, trusting that He will calm my fears and give me the strength to face what lies ahead.
This morning, as I was in the shower, I started to make my list. I've decided that writing it down would be helpful for me. I realize that my list is probably different and more extensive than the average woman about to bear a child. One thing is true - I am a pregnant woman, and I share very similar emotions to those of all pregnant women, just by virtue of the fact that I am about to become a mother. In addition, however, I know that both my career and parts of my personality add to my list and make it probably longer than most.
Here goes my list:
pain, strength and stamina (lack of) to deal with labor and pushing, meconium, NICU, continuous monitoring, abnormal electronic fetal monitoring, induction, cervidil, pitocin, epidural, vacuum, forceps, c-section, tearing, stitches, shoulder dystocia, ABO incompatibility, breastfeeding problems, postpartum hemorrhage, blood sugar protocol,...eek!
So, there you have it - my list exposed and now I give it over to God, who has held me and our baby in His hands all this time throughout the pregnancy,and I'm sure will continue to do so, through the labor and delivery, and for many years to come. Even if and when I feel like I may not be in control, He always is in control, has a plan and knows what's going on. I simply need to continue to trust...
Another friend recently sent me an e-mail telling me that she was praying for me, and specifically praying the words of 1 Timothy 2:15 "But women will be kept safe through childbirth, if they continue in their faith, love and holiness with self control."
As I wait for the moment to come when the pains will start, labor and delivery will occur, and we'll welcome our new baby into the world, I, too, pray that I will continue in faith, love, holiness, self-control AND patience. I desire so much to be at peace with the natural course of how things progress, but at the same time, I recognize the feelings of frustration and impatience that I, like so many other women, am experiencing now that my due date has passed, and things still seem about the same.
All in perfect timing... thanks for joining us in prayer for continued patience and peace, and thanks for walking the journey with us.